Saturday, June 2, 2012

Trusting God

I haven't been blogging much, school and the girls have kept me pretty busy.  This last week has been a very difficult one.  First all three girls took turns being sick, I am stressed out over a research paper for school and I have not been getting any sleep.

Then, I get a call telling me that my godmother has had an aneurysm and she's in a coma.  She lives in Spain, and I can't afford to go visit her.  We're waiting to see what decision my cousins are going to make with her staying on life support or disconnecting her.  There is no brain activity, and the chances are slim on her survival without the machines.  I remember how vivacious she was, how much fun she always had.  When she took me to get my ears pierced, forced me to eat cauliflower, and when she would let my cousin and I go to the beach by ourselves as teens.  How she trusted me to do the right thing.  It's so hard to imagine her laying in a bed, immobile. 

The very next day, I get another phone call.  My mother is in tears and I can't believe the words that are coming out of her mouth.  They are just too ludicrous for my mind to wrap around.  My cousin's 18 year old son has been found dead.  I feel like I am trapped in a warp zone of some sort.  I am so beyond comprehension on this one.  A child with his whole life ahead of him.  A good kid that loved his family and took care of them.  Following his dreams. 

A good friend reminded me that we are not meant to understand what the Father does, we are just meant to TRUST Him.  This word keeps coming up in my devotionals lately, and I am trying to do so in every situation.  I have to admit that in most things, I have found it easy enough to do.  It's really easy to do so when everything is ok.  Even when finances are tight, you adjust.  Groceries are scarce, you get creative.  When someone is gone, what?  Every answer to that question that has been given to me this week seems inadequate or inappropriate.  Except for Lauren's answer: Trust.  It's all we have left to do.  Trust that God took Alberto home for a reason.  Trust that Alberto is in a better place.  Trust that God will watch over Alberto's siblings, parents and grandparents, that they will feel our Father's comforting embrace.  That they will find peace in the knowledge that Alberto is now HOME, that he feels no pain, anguish or discrimination in Heaven.  That he is loved and cared for in glorious splendor as Heaven rejoices in his Homecoming Celebration.

This makes me smile, thinking of the Angels in party mode.  I think he would enjoy that.

RIP Alberto "Macho" Vera

You were a joy to all who encountered you in life, a blessing to your family, and you will never be forgotten.

We will see you soon in the Kingdom!