Catharsis

Found this in a file, it's an old work, rough around the edges, written in a moment that was emotionally rocky.  

There are moments that won't end in the mind,

you say it was an accident, falling to the routine,

Continuing "the cycle" "the only way I know" 

"the way I was raised"

Always a new excuse, never a real commitment.

There are words that linger forever;

they burrow in your soul and take root, 

poisoning every thought hence forth, 

words that associate with slow death.

There are emotions that grow unrestrained, 

in response to loneliness,

in the midst of pain.

That hide behind the mask, but never lose their grip.

The bruises that don't come from hits.

They last an eternity under the skin.

No amount of soothing evaporates the dull ache,

The ache that lives inside, never abandoning.

The spirit-choking negativity

that forever spouts from your mouth.

Never a kindness, a soft encouragement.

Always harsh, always rude, always...

You.

You.

You used to represent goodness.

Joy.

Love.

Now you bring despair,

Hurt.

Lost Hope.

There is an End. 

A catharsis.  

A broken soul,

fighting to break out and away.

A soul redeemed by the blood of a Savior.

A woman who, in spite of You, 

understands that she has 

Value.

Importance.

Worth.

A woman who carries scars,

that has a strength merged from 

the breaks meant to keep her down.

A woman that carries fire in her belly,

A raging desire to give her children

the Love and Grace that Christ showed her

not the dysfunction you created.

A woman that rises ready to fight for 

the chance to live, to thrive.

Who sees past the 

self doubt you painted.

You will not win.

You have lost.