One Vacation Coming Right Up!

Hero.

What does that word mean to you?  We've been called heroes several times since beginning this adoption process.  But I have to be honest.  We're uncomfortable with the title.  We are not heroes.  

Disclosure, I'm going to be very real about my feelings, but please don't misunderstand my intent.  I am overjoyed with the place God has brought us to.  I am not looking for sympathy, well, honestly, because none is needed.  Everyone goes through trials, and this is part of our journey.  It's all good, and we know will help us to truly appreciate things more once we reach the end.  However, people tend to romanticize adoption, and it's not romantic!  It's hard and frustrating and the ones that complete the process deserve a vacation.  If you're looking to gift anyone with a vacation, please contact me about my friends, Josh and Sara.  They've adopted three times.  Yeah.  Rockstars!  More on that later!  

We're normal people, following God's prompting and stepping out in obedience.  We're (a little bit) scared of the unknown and all the variables, and (a lot) overwhelmed.  We're exhausted from all the added pressure and activity the adoption process has added to our already hectic schedules.  I'm stretched so thin I'm afraid I'm going to shatter at any minute.  I know it's only temporary and God is in full control.  That gets me through!  Somehow, we are getting each step accomplished, and I know that can only be Him!  It certainly is not in our own strength.  

I'm an emotional wreck and my pillow is stained from the tears every night.  I cry because my oldest will be leaving to college and won't have time with Lucy.  I cry because my two older girls will be visiting their biological father and the sibling they have from him for an extended while.  Lucy will have no clue of what amazing big sisters she has and I'm going to be lost without them.  I cry because I'm mourning all the things Lucy has done in 7 years with no mommy to make her feel accomplished, no daddy to hold her when she was scared.  I cry because her 8th birthday is in two weeks and she has no idea that her family is celebrating her.  I cry because I'm certain Lucy has been lonely on so many days and nights, a loneliness I know we will never be able to erase, that will always be a part of who she is.  And I cry because I love her so much.  A friend warned me about the "Adoption Hormones".  Uh-huh.... I could have done without those.

From the first day, I told Manny I felt that God was going to bless us with the money to bring Lucy home, and then some.  Immediately he got the look that says "How many kids are you bringing home?"  I don't know that God is giving us more than one child, I honestly believe that He is going to bless us so we can in turn bless other families with their adoptions.  

I have been feeling the pressing to share our story.  Ask friends to share our story.  Tell people about Reece's Rainbow, about kids with special needs.  Everyone we are acquainted with knows we have a daughter with Down syndrome.  Becky is 11 years old and the day she was born changed our lives completely.  So many people have such a misconception about people with Downs.  We have witnessed her breaking down walls and barriers in people's minds and hearts.  She has been a catalyst for several people we know to disbelieve the stigmas associated with kids with special needs.  I think God intends to use our adoption to further break down those stigmas.  The more people learn about our adoption, the more people will have the seed planted to the idea of providing a home for a child with special needs.  I know we're not the first to do it, we have friends that have adopted several kiddos with special needs.  I just know what God is pressing on me.  

Enter the hero word.  People will tell us what angels we are, what heroes we are to adopt a child with special needs.  Well, as a mom of kids in several age groups and different abilities/disabilities, I can tell you that the set of difficulties we have with a kid with special needs is simply redistributed, not more.  What do I mean?  Well, Becky requires a lot of medical attention.  Surgeries, extra doctors (seriously, how many specialists does a little body NEED?), and special shoes, special equipment.  And she's starting to notice boys, what the what?!  And she's going through "changes" which means drama and hormones and drama and crying and drama.  She also requires a lot of therapies.  She is in an amazing school which provides a lot of one on one attention to the students and incorporates therapies into every activity.  We LOVE them!  But I digress... it is a lot of work and I'm exhausted! My heart is full but I'm pooped!  

For our older children, there are after school activities, and boys, and drama, and college applications, and shopping, and drama, and work applications, and financial aid applications, and drama, and weekend testing dates in schools no where near our home (WHY does the school board DO that?), and rides to and from places, and volunteer hours, and learning to drive, and drama, and friends coming in and out every single weekend, and long drawn out projects and papers that rival a college student's research, and boys, and medical problems (WHAT?! A "normal" kid with medical concerns, unheard of), and then there's the inevitable clash of personalities among themselves and with mom and dad.  So again, a lot of work and exhausting!  My heart is full to bursting with them in my life, but I'm pooped!  

See my point?  One is not more or less work than the other, the work is simply distributed differently!  Don't be afraid to love a child with special needs!  

The real heroes in these scenarios are the children, the ones waiting for families to bring them home, the ones that keep smiling and hoping.  They are my heroes.

Manny and I?  We're no heroes.  We're not angels.  

We're believing He's going to carry us through the adoption, and through raising Lucy, the same way He's getting us through raising our other children.  

I'm also believing that there is a vacation in our very near future with no cooking or laundry or cleaning.... maybe?  No?  Too much?  Oh, well!  I tried!  

Home Study: Complete!

Our social worker R.O.C.K.S!!!!

She called me today to inform me that our home study is complete, reviewed and approved by the agency!  YES!!  Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus!!  She also said she had my documents ready to mail to me, or get this, she could meet with me anytime today or tomorrow!  Who does that?!  Seriously!  Man, I love that woman!

So, now I can send out our paperwork for immigration (ready to mail out in the morning! EEEEKKKK!!!) and then we wait for the appointment from the FBI to go do our fingerprinting.

In the meantime, we have sent all our documents out to get the state seals and Chinese embassy seals.  This step is necessary to compile our dossier, which then is sent to China.  We can't complete this part until we have the papers back from immigration, but at least it will have been started.

Oh.  My.  goodness.... y'all I'm so excited I can't sit still!!!  It all seems to have taken so long to get to this point, and all of a sudden it's beginning to snowball again!

We're so much closer to bringing our girl home!  I want to cry!  Ok, so I cry all the time anyways, but I want to cry some more now!

Just because I can't get enough of that face....

Here is what I need from all our family and friends: please, please, please continue to share our story!  Share our links, share about our fundraisers.

We will be having another big yard sale on March 5th, we still have our puzzle fundraiser and we have a few raffles coming up!

Lucy's birthday is March 9th so our yard sale will double as a birthday celebration!  We're decorating outside and will have cookies so everyone can celebrate with us!  We're going to really enjoy this one guys!  Come by and visit with us!

Please continue to pray for our journey!  We ask asking for favor in a quick and efficient process time, for the funds to complete the dossier portion (approximately $6300), and for protection over Lucy and the family as we prepare, I ask for continual refreshment throughout the paper chase.

God is an awesome God!  We are so blessed!

Here is the page to our FSP, where you can donate and print your tax deductible receipt!  Thank you!

Lucy's Page on Reece's Rainbow

Onwards!

Is it really mid February already?!  

I feel like I haven't had a chance to do anything other than paperwork, fundraise, school, work.  I think somewhere in there I feed the family.  At least, I'm assuming I do because they're all still alive and thriving.  

So much has happened in a short time.  We finished our Home Study and it's in review with the agency.  We have our paperwork for immigration ready and waiting to attach the final home study to and mail out.  We attempted to prep for the dossier.  Attempted.  I ended up just about pulling all my hair out.  I decided it was worth hiring a courier service to handle this portion.  It's too important and I'm too overwhelmed to do it myself.  Perspective is important here.  So my new best friend is Laura from Assistant Stork.  Yes, ma'am!

We received a video update of our girl!  EEEEEEKKKKKK!!!  SHE'S TOO STINKING CUTE!!!  I think Youtube is going to be charging me royalties if I keep watching her.  Seriously, though, how can I not watch it every day?  Several times?  Ok, I MAY be a little exaggerated.  But I'd like to meet the person that's going to enforce a viewing limit on this momma.  

Ok, ok, you've twisted my arm.... I'll share!  But first, I should watch it one more time just in case....

Latest Video Update on Lucy

Lucy's birthday is coming up and it's bringing some bittersweet feelings.  I want to send her a cake and gift, but I'm so sad we won't be with her on her special day.  I've been told to keep it cool, we'll have many birthdays later... I'm just not sure my heart can handle that right now even though my brain recognizes the truth in the words.

We've been busy with yard sales, auctions, and selling online.  We also began a Puzzle Fundraiser.  We took one of the pictures of Lucy and had it made into a 500 piece puzzle.  Each piece represents a 'property'.  You can purchase as many properties as you'd like, at $15 a piece.  I write your name on each piece.  Once it's complete we will mount it in a two sided frame so Lucy can always see the people that helped to bring her home!  I can't wait until it's complete!  Only 420 more properties to go!  Yay!

                              

The other exciting development is that we now have several methods to collect donations!  We have an FSP through Reece's Rainbow so you can print a tax deductible receipt for your donation.  You can find that here. (BTW, browse around, maybe your son/daughter calls to you from the pages!  This is where we 'found' our girl!)

Reece's Rainbow FSP

We also have a youcaring.com account, which you can find here:

YouCaring Link

Of course, there's always the paypal.com method.  Our account is adlin26@yahoo.com

You can follow us on FB at 

Long Road Home

Like always, I ask you to keep praying for our family!  Keep praying for our sweet Lucy!  Please share our story with your friends and family.  Everything we have been able to do so far has been through the generosity of family, friends and strangers.  We appreciate everyone of you!  

Our Daughter

It is incredible how much we have been "GOING" lately!  We received pre approval for our girl, and before the joy set in we were already knee deep in paperwork!

Now, let me back track.  In case you missed it.  We received PreApproval for our girl!!!!!  YAYAYAYAYAY!!!  Praise God!

So, here introducing to you Lucy Ilisa Fleites!

We are so excited!  I haven't stopped crying since! LOL!  

I knew that I was going to be going through 'pregnancy feelings' during the adoption process.  I spoke to adoption mommas, I researched in the University library, I searched online for credible, scholarly sources that would prepare me.  I almost forgot my final paper to my class, because this was obviously more pertinent and fun! 

I was not expecting to cry for everything.  To forget almost everything.  To misplace everything.  

I was not expecting to feel loss.

That one took me by complete surprise.  As I started preparing for Thanksgiving, I started thinking of all the years she has spent alone, without someone to make a special meal for her.  Or bake her a special birthday cake.  My heart broke over and over again.  I found solace in the fact that God knows His children by name and loves them, I know she is covered by His love.  

So, the last month has consisted of purchasing large, wholesale club sized tissue boxes, and paperwork!  So much paperwork.  Also, selling and fundraising and working overtime (Manny) so we can cover the costs of bringing our girl home!    Here is Becky announcing our yard sale!  She's a hard worker!

We started a FB page, called Long Road Home.  You are all welcome to join us there to keep track of our adoption journey.  It is so much easier for us to post to in a hurry or on the go.  

In closing, I'll give you another peak at our daughter!

Please keep us in prayer as we work on bring Lucy home and for her protection!!!

Unexpected Turns on the Road

So, we fell in love with this adorable child and we were so excited.  We raised the money, filled out the paperwork, and prayed and prayed.  Then I wake up to an email that says she's disappeared from the shared list.  We searched all day, my friend and I.  Nothing.  

Then I was told another family committed to her.  So we mourned.  We cried, we got angry.  But we knew that God had placed that call on us, so we continued to look.  And look.  And Pray.  

And we found her.  Our Girl!  Everyone was terrified of falling for her and losing her.  But we each felt the pull to pursue her.  

We were granted one week to come up with a significant amount of money.  I prayed and asked Him to guide me.  If this is the path He was starting us on, I knew He wouldn't let us fail.  I continued selling on virtual yard sales, and I ran a raffle for a $10 Target gift card.  I asked for prayers and help. In one week's time to the day, we had the $1,700 that was asked of us.  Praise God!  

We overnighted all the papers and check, the pictures.  And we've been waiting.  I've never been a patient person.  And this process is most definitely stretching me in that area.  I've a perfectly clear mind as to how much my patience will be stretched over the next 9 to 12 months.  I'm prepared to do anything we need to do, because she is worth it.  

So tonight, as we sit and watch TV, instead of focusing on the punchline, I'm focused on names for Our Girl, one that fits her sweet smile, her cheerful visage.  I'm focused on researching the top of the line car seats, and the cutest clothes.  I'm focused on finding her a matching bed to Becky's since they are sharing a room.  I'm focused on learning basic words in Mandarin so our Precious Gift can understand her mommy and daddy when we go for her.  

I can't wait to have permission to share her picture and name with everyone.  I can't wait to shout to the world that I'm her momma!  

We are overjoyed, our hearts are full.  

Now, to go work on that patience as I stare at the computer screen waiting for the email to pop up with word from China...

WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!

Ok, maybe not a baby... a child.

Ok, maybe we're not "having" a child... we're adopting.

BUT HELLO?!  We're ADOPTING!!!!!

Manny and I, Yudith, Aly, Becky, Manny Jr. Fatima and Angie are adopting a new child into the family!!!

I can't describe to you all the feeling coursing through me at this moment.  I haven't stopped crying, smiling, laughing in days.  I have woken myself from sleep in tears.

I've felt such a strong feeling to adopt for so many years, and in recent months have had arguments with God.  I got really mad and frustrated and reproached Him.  "Why do you give me a burning desire to adopt but don't give the same feeling to my husband?"

I mean, come on!  That's just mean, cruel even.  I would show him pictures or talk to him about available children, and while we was never mean about it purposely, he would look and say something to the effect of "I hope his/her forever family show up soon."

Well, in conversation about something totally unrelated a few weeks ago, God gave me clarity.  My friend commented about the differences in our husband's reactions from our own.  How upset it made her.  I was shaking my head, ready to Amen her comment and high five over this.  Instead my mouth opened, but I'm not the one that answered.

"I'm a realist, but I still have a soft center.  Paint me a picture and I'm sold.  I'm all in or not at all.  Manny balances me out.  He remains stoic, he takes his time to make a decision.  Usually, it's not the answer I want, but it's (almost) always the answer I need in the long run."

She curled her lip like I asked her to lick the floor.   I wanted to slap myself, because REALLY?!  How submissive did that sound?

However, the reality is that it's the truth.  One hundred percent.  Even if I'm loath to admit it.

Now, fast forward a few months after my meltdown with God.  I changed my prayers.  "Lord, if it's your will that we adopt, then please soften his heart.  If not, take this desire in me and redirect it."  Friday night, I'm casually checking my Facebook on the couch while he's watching TV.   My friend posted a link to a site I've been on for years, Reece's Rainbow.  They advocate adoptions of children with Down Syndrome.  I passed it, then decided to go back and open it because I felt pulled to it.  Just one more time, I told myself.

As soon as the link opened and I saw that adorable little face, those gorgeous eyes, and that smile!  Oh, man!  My breath caught in my throat and my tears started flowing.  I felt that most complete love instantly.  Exactly like the love that floods you when you look at your newborn for the first time.

My heart recognized 

her as mine.  

Manny was worried and asked what was going on.  I turned the phone to him and showed him her picture.   He took one look at her and his face transformed.  He got the goofiest smile on his face.  His eyes took on a soft, dreamy look.  I finally got myself under control.  I told him how I felt, I read her description to him.  We briefly discussed attempting.  He didn't commit to anything, and instead we decided to just pray on it.

The next day he went to work, I was doing homework... and researching agencies.  And looking at her picture.  And dreaming.  And crying.  And lying to my mom (she called and when she heard my voice she asked why I was crying, I couldn't say anything so I said I wasn't feeling well.  Which I was, because I just lied to my mother.).  And crying some more while looking at her picture.  And asking my friend that has already adopted about the whole process in detail.

Manny came home from work, took one look at me and with the most amazing smile on his face said, "Let's bring my girl home!"

And cue more crying, and hugging, and kissing and crying and hugging.... you get the picture.

That was step one.

Then I sent emails to the agency, and so began the wait to see if the country she's in would even consider us.

Yesterday I called after work and spoke to a sweet lady that said based on our initial, preliminary answers, she didn't see any red flags for them to not consider us!

So I won't bore you with the details now, I'll do so later as everything unfolds, but I was about to come out of my skin!!!!!

Manny walked in the door from work and I just about tackled him! LOL!  Seriously, I did!

So now we've informed the family... the kids all know, the parents know.  The extended family knows.  Our friends know.  Fundraising efforts have begun.  It's becoming more real.

And my excitement level just keeps escalating.  I've made some of the dumbest mistakes in the last few days.  Pregnancy brain without the pregnancy.  Hee hee!  But I'm so overjoyed that it's ok.

I know the path ahead of us is full of long nights, running around in sudden bursts of activity, long waits, and patience being tested.  It going to be full of worry and working extra hard to earn the money to bring her home.  But just like all the obstacles we faced with the other children, she is worth everything and anything that comes.

I would like to ask you all to join us in prayer.  That the country accept our paperwork, that they match us to this precious angel, that no one else commit to her before we can get the funds for that step.  Please keep us in prayer that we keep our calm, the peace He has filled us with, that the added stress of the adoption process bring us closer and not come between us.  That all our children, those at home, and our angel abroad, are safe.  That soon we can send word her way that her Forever Family has found her and is working hard to come get her!

Thank you!


If you'd like to donate to our adoption, please do so through my PayPal account!  adlin26@yahoo.com

We appreciate it!

Beckyisms

Becky has become way more verbal lately.  She does a pretty good job of expressing herself. Here are a few of the funnier things she has said to us in the last few weeks... Most of these I'm copying right from my FB feed, so if you follow me there, be warned!  Some repetition is about to occur!l


Enjoy!!  We sure did!!!


I dropped off the girs to my sister's house and they were giving me kisses. Yudith says "be safe on the drive back". Becky adds, "yes, behave and don't die mommy". I call now to tell them I made it home and she says "good job not dying!!" I can't stop laughing! This kid!
You know, it works!  We understand each other.  

Yudith fell the other day and hit her head, thank God she is ok now, but she did have a slight concussion. So this afternoon, I went grocery shopping with Becky.  And it typical Lynn fashion, I tripped.  Luckily, I didn't fall because I grabbed my cart, when I went to stand up straight, I touched my forehead (no reason, just did) and Becky says "oy, did you break your head, like Yudith?"

Becky is watching The Nightmare Before Christmas. She comes laughing and says "Mommy, it's you! On TV!" I look to see what she's talking about and Jack Skelington is cuddled in bed with a stack of books! I said "I look like Jack?" And she says, "No, he read in bed lot of books, like you!" 

Well, she's not wrong!!!

Becky: (looking at Yudith, holding her mug in front of her mouth) so, how's math going?

Yudith: it's good. I had a quiz yesterday and I got an A. I had a lot of math homework but I got it all done 

Becky: uh huh. It's going to get harder. You're good. 

Yudith: thanks. And you? How's your math? 

Becky: math is good. My teacher helps me. I like math. 

All the while she's sipping from her mug. I can't take this level of cuteness!!!! 

Mom, my purse is empty.  I need your money.  Please.
Yeah, kiddo.  That's cute but no.

Becky has a stuffy nose and her head hurts.  She climbed into bed with me early this morning and said, "Mommy, my head, it hurt.  And my nose, it doing bad thing."  I'm partially awake as I ask "what bad thing?"  Her response "no let me breath.  Hello, nose, I die!"

I don't think she was amused that I was cracking up while she was obviously in the throes of death!

If you're planning of purchasing Disney's Cinderella, please shop this Amazon link!  It will help us raise funds for our cause!  The big one I'm not supposed to tell you all about just yet!  LOL!  http://tinyurl.com/qj7wuxv    Thank you!!  I promise you won't be disappointed when you find out why it is!